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Gossip Girl: “The Ex-Files”

September 30, 2008

Blair in her uniformWarning: This entry contains spoilers for Gossip Girl Season 2 episode 4!

  • The episode began with a little reunion breakfast of the Van der Woodson/ Bass clan. I love little scenes like this. Hurrah, Lilly’s back! She will definitely improve Serena’s story-line, but Lilly’s not the only contributing factor to a new and more interesting S (but more on that later).
  • It’s the first day of school, and a whining Lil’ J explains that on this auspicious day Blair and her crew will divide all the girls into “Projects” and “Victims.” Classic. We later get a shot of Blair (wearing a cape-like garment, no less) lording over all her subjects, inspecting the files of incoming students. Oh, Queen B—you will be cut down too soon! Blair continues to refer to her boyfriend as “The Lord,” which continues to amuse me.
  • Later we see Vanessa working, which leads me to wonder, does the girl go to school? In the books, Vanessa went to school with all the other girls at Constance Billard and she added some variety to the mix. I’m not so sure about this home-school/ no-school direction for her character. The Duchess comes in and drops off a check for Vanessa to buy her silence/ compliance, and Vanessa is pissed. This will not end well.
  • Then more fun school scenes, in which we meet a new girl. These scenes are full of lovely Blair-isms, such as, “Whoever dates first, wins,” and “this girl is Dan with boobs.” During the school scenes, I noticed that most of the guys don’t tuck in their shirts or button their jackets … but not Chuck. I love that Chuck wears a plaid vest under his buttoned up blazer! Oh, and that reminds me: the girls’ gymn uniforms (croquet, lacrosse, polo?) cracked me up! What is goin’ on there?
  • Back to Vanessa. Not surprisingly, she storms over to Catherine’s house to throw the check back in her face … but it doesn’t stop there. Vanessa catches the Duchess and the Lord in a compromising position …uh oh! Vanessa quickly snaps a picture with her phone, knowing that this can provide some powerful leverage against the Duchess. However, she’s not an experienced blackmailer, so she’s not quite sure how to play it. She goes to Dan, and surprisingly Dan gives her good advice: “Google ‘revenge’ and get BlairWaldorf.com.” Heee heee! Vanessa reluctantly goes to Blair, and the scene where B sees the picture is just heart-breaking—Leighton is awesome. Blair proceeds to “handle” the situation as only she can, but unfortunately Vanessa gets a little too impatient. It seems that being a high-school drop out can affect one’s IQ, as Vanessa rashly decides to tell the Duke what his wife and son have been up too. It all sort of works out in the end though, so we can’t be too mad.
  • O.K, and I saved the best for last. On the heels of her breakup with Dan, Serena becomes uber-jealous when she spies him flirting with a new girl, and her nasty side really gets exposed. We later find out that “Dan with boobs” was actually being paid by Chuck the whole time for just this effect. It seems that Chuck organized the whole thing in order to piss off Serena, and throw her off her reformed ways. This fits into Chuck’s schemes for getting back at Blair (or is it to get back with Blair?), as the newly nasty Serena pulls a shocking maneuver at the end. S dethrones B as Queen of the school. It’s called Queen B for a reason people!
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